I take full responsibility for what happened next. I lobbied to go into Patong. An expensive cab ride later, we were deposited in a seedy town on a rather average beach. We had some beers at a beach-side bar, watched a thunderstorm pass through, and marveled at the people, who would have fit in well at Panama City Beach in the eighties before it got all classy.
Sidestepping the "massage" parlors and ping pong shows (you could Google it, but don't say I didn't warn you), we found what we were looking for - a fish massage parlor run by ladyboys. It was all we hoped - and feared - it would be, as other tourists gathered around to laugh at us as we squealed in horror. The fish were aggressive, pecking at our feet and slithering between our toes. It could not end soon enough.
